Two days down. Lifetime to go.

I've stuck to my exercise regime since Monday. I've been doing intense cardio and less intense free weight/light weights... no change in weight/visible tone-ness yet, but I'm optimistic. Plus, I rediscovered that I'm still super flexible (I was when I was younger, but after 2/3 years sans real exercise, I thought I'd lose it). So, plus and plus.

Seriously, exercise makes my days go by better. Endorphins=serious shit.

Also, my legs are sore.

But whatevz, I'm proud of myself for sticking with the plan, even if it's still just the beginning... I'm feeling good about the new lifestyle!

Summer loving.

I'm still semi-obsessing over the guy at school. I'm an unhealthy level of insecure lately, I've put on the "Freshman Fifteen" (not quite fifteen, but I've gained weight nonetheless), and hating my body lately. This equates to me lacking the balls to approach any guy, let alone the guy I've been jonesing over since last term.

Ugh. The year's almost over (April exams begin), and he lives out of town, and we're in different majors (i.e. different classes, little chance of seeing one another regularly). I know I should just make a move, or at least seem more open to being moved on (I think he likes me. I catch him looking at me, but WTF is he thinking?=my paranoid concern)... I wish one of us was more obvious about our intentions.

I'm commencing Operation Summer Bod. I'm not expecting to get a perfect summer physique, but I do hope to drop the 10-12 lbs of weight I've put on since the last June-May. So, yeah. The plan goes: Gym after class on Mondays, Tuesdays, Fridays. Dog walks on the weekend, Mondays, Fridays. Less fatty foods, no red meat/pork/etc (fish and occasional chicken). No food after 7PM. More water (I currently drink like zilch H20 during the day... so I figure any amount is an improvement).

Wish me luck!

The First Circle.

As introduced in my premiere post, I am infatuated with a guy that looks like the guy from Prison Break. I don't even know his personality all that well, we've had classes since September, but neither of us have done anything (I'm dubious that he's even aware of my pathetic pining). Regardless, he's lately made it into my fucking dreams. I wish I had the cojones to do something about this all in reality, but instead I elect to pine away, and get nervous and overly happy when we talk in class.

I'm like a grade school kid when I like someone. I have no problem talking to guys, attractive or not, but this one--I'm suddenly a fucking cowardly idiot. I think he likes me, but he's shy-ish as well, so. Yeah. Colour me in Limbo.

Prologue?

Here is where I provide some information to help reader(s?--should I be so hopeful to use the plural form?) navigate this blog from henceforth.

• female first year student
• currently attending a large university in Canada
• totally crushing on a boy who looks like this:
• academically lazy as fuck; but consistently (and officially) recognized as near-genious level intelligent
• virgin; hesitantly wanting to change this, but blessed with religious guilt and pitiful self esteem that makes this difficult to attain
• with an air of sexual experience/knowledge, few (if any) realize that I've never had a real boyfriend
• probably peaked (professionally, academically, socially) sometime in high school... seems to be a downward trip from here on out
• confused and oblivious about the future--what to do, how to do it, who I want to be with, where I'll be--all are questions without answers and really bleak looking outcomes.
• generally introverted about these things, I appear seemingly happy and confident to friends and family.